The Fantom Talks It Out: Writing For The Big Guys

I don't want to sound high and mighty here, but I think things have been going pretty well here at the Fantom Blog. Posts are timely and fun, and plenty of people are dropping by to take a look. All in all: mission accomplished. But yesterday, the Devon Sanders and myself were discussing what would happen if one of the big two asked us to write a book of theirs; which I assure you has not happened. But if they did it would probably look something like this...

DC Comics Guy: Jordan, we love your writing (but you really need an editor) and we want you to take a shot at Batman.

Me: Uh, sure! Wait... um... no.

DC Comics Guy: Wait. What?!

Me: I have like, one Batman story in my head. It would last like three issues, maybe four tops. After that, all out of ideas. One of them is just him wandering about the Wayne manor reminiscing about his life and being sad.

DC Comics Guy: Okay. How about Superman?

Me: Hell no.

You see, it would go on and on like that until they offered me, I don't know, Green Lantern. But not Hal, it would have to be Kyle or the Corps in general. Same thing goes with Marvel:

Marvel Comics Guy: We want you to write Spider-man. We think you're witty, inane, Internet banter would make for a great book.

Me: ARE YOU CRAZY! NO!

Marvel Comics Guy: Ok, How about Iron Fist? Or maybe Nova?

Me: GAH! Fraction and Brubaker should only write Iron Fist! But Nova sounds interesting...

See, it takes HUGE STONES to man-up and write a guy like Superman or Captain America. You have to be the top of your game, and if your not, BEAT IT. The smaller guys, like Nightwing, Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Hercules, Supergirl, hell even Thor, these are people who I feel still have A TON of room to tell great stories. They are also respected, but only to a point. A guy like Supes, you write him wrong, KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE. Captain America? You don't write him handling a situation correctly, you immediately lose all credibility with me. That's why I really respect the Starman series by James Robinson. He set out to tell a great story and when it was over, he was done with the series and the main character, and now, no one dare touch it.

It also boggles my mind how a guy like J. Michael Straczynski could write Amazing Spider-man for as long as he did. I mean, it shows in some parts how stretched the book felt. Even Fables has a tendency to tell stories that don't have to be told, as it often times drifts from the main plot. In fact, if Bill Willingham just told the story he clearly wants to tell, Fables would most likely be over, and be about 6 volumes.

So next time you diss on a guy like Geoff Johns on Superman (I don't think anyone really is) or even a guy like David Hine on Spawn, just think about the balls it takes to write these characters. Lord knows I wouldn't to do it.